Category Archives: Flytta hem igen

Cultural parenting – of course! But which cultures?

Parenting styles can vary from family to family. But there are also differences between countries, or should I say cultures. We appreciate different values, which are likely to impact our upbringing of the children. Sometimes they are easily spotted, sometimes they are not. Concept of time for instance is a good example. Coming from a culture where being on time is considered important and a courtesy, I found it annoying at times as a foreign student working in groups with others that were happily an hour late for study meetings. No surprise that we soon found out that Germans and Swedes worked well together!

As always, awareness of the values and set of rules can lead to a better understanding, and less annoyance; tolerance. In the case of time, I simply learnt to agree on another time with the students I knew would be – in my world – an hour late.

Being a parent or not; moving into a new culture you will be exposed to the impact of cultural differences. As a parent a playground is a perfect location for observation and “study”. It´s fascinating that you often can tell from the parents’ responses to their children’s behavior from which country they are. I have encountered societies where one believes that adults should not interfere when children are “playing”. In the beginning I just assumed they did not care; now I hope they care but still want the kids to solve problems on their own. I have also experienced children being constantly corrected and taught. Swedes are normally somewhere in between these two parenting styles; of course, I would like to add with a touch of irony– after all we are the land of “lagom” (just enough) and “mellan” (in the middle).

There are also differences when it comes to physical punishment (illegal in Sweden) and scolding in public. Some people want other parents to know they are dealing with the matter, and some don´t.

Another, always hot, topic is whether it is considered acceptable for a parent to deal with someone else’s child.

I do believe that the culture you are currently living in influences your parenting. It is a way of fitting in, of accepting the hosting society but also grabbing the good stuff!

It is interesting once you start thinking in terms of cultural parenting. What are the cornerstones of your culture/-s when it comes to raising children? Which are the strengths? Have you added anything from your host culture?

Perhaps you are even a slightly different parent in another location! And by that I am not referring to the newly relocated, stressed and culture shocked parent …

Do we really need that … (fill in the blank)?

Moving is your big chance to declutter. Sure, you might be fortunate enough to enjoy a moving company packing service, but still there is often the need to go through things. Sometimes you already know where you will be living, and that space might be less.  Climate can impact too; there was no reason to keep all our humidifiers when relocating to Sweden.  However leaving our garden furniture behind was not a climate-related decision, even though one might think so – especially after this rainy summer.

I usually say that moving once in a while is good for closets and attics. And also for basements, not to mention garages! You can sell things, give them away to friends, or donate them to charities.  Ask friends, at the club/work or the neighbors for ideas.  In the village where I lived a few years ago, you simply put your no-longer-wanted items out in the street, at the garbage collection area. Whoever walked by finding an interest in the object could simply take it. If it was still there at garbage-day, it was removed. My pasta-maker, still in the box, found a new home that way.

Another system seemed to work well in the village nearby.  A couple of days per year villagers could bring the bits and pieces they wanted to clear out to a selected open area. Items were then free to any other resident who wanted them. In the afternoon the remaining things were donated to charity or found their way to the dump.  A friend of mine, a trailing spouse adapting well to the local life, left two chairs and came home with a table. I would like to see more of these environmentally friendly solutions!

In Sweden you can try www.bjussa.se . Here you can advertise items to give away.

Traditions and celebrations – a Smorgasbord for expats

One of the best things with living in different countries, and being exposed to various cultures, is that you get a bunch of new traditions to take on. You can choose freely – adopt the ones that appeal to you and fit your regular schedule of celebrations. It can be big; it can be small. As an expat; try to celebrate with locals if you can. If you moved already, keep the traditions – sometimes they prove to grow even stronger!

In my case there seems to be a strong connection between traditions and food. Anyone else? This year, with a bunch of friends from different parts of the world, we decided to celebrate Cinco de Mayo; because of the Mexican food. But we also looked up some information about the tradition, and background, so we all learnt something new. We had a wonderful evening and will most likely do it again.

Thanksgiving is coming up, closely followed by 1st of Advent.  Again; food involved. But we must not forget the most important ingredients – people and the opportunities/excuses to get together!

What are your traditions? Have you started any new ones? What happens when you move – do the traditions grow in importance or do they tend to fade away? Would love to hear your comments!

Do not play with food!! Or … do!!

For Halloween the Globatris Network gathered to enjoy an afternoon of fun and “fika”! Halloween is a perfect opportunity to be creative with food! Even the littles ones joining us could make cookie-spiders out of dark Ballerina (Oreos work too) and black string liquorice.

Halloween food

Falling for fall

Fall is here. The beautiful, rich colors and the crispy air. And, oh yes, the rain. But let´s just forget about the rain for now.  It doesn´t go with the picture. The leaves are turning my garden into an explosion of nuances. It´s like a firework leaving confetti to nurture eye and soul, as well as the lawn. The last brave rosebuds stand strong in the wind, and the blueberries … well, why haven´t they been picked by now?!

Indoors the colors tend to follow the nature´s. Summery shades and patterns are replaced with warm orange and deep reds. Burgundy. Candles, textiles and decorative items add to the luxury of warming up in front of the fire place after a forest walk. A glass of red. Memories from expatriate postings come to life with tiny crafted hedgehogs, autumnal recipe books from overseas and … ahem; the inflatable pumpkin.

Expat home accessorizing – the unique touch

Living in a foreign country exposes you to new things; food, language, customs and rituals as well as people and sites – in one word; culture. Part of the culture are also items for your home, may it be decorations or gadgets. They might be beautiful or downright ugly, but they fascinate you, intrigue you or you just fall in love with them and purchase them to be part of your multi culture. Often this is done upon returning to your home country, or at least leaving the host country. It might be furniture, art objects, tacky tourist thingamabobs. Or simply items only found in the place you live right now. Like a Dalahorse or a cucko clock.

What have you incorporated when furnishing, decorating and accessorizing your home?

Me?  I have a giant Swiss cow bell hanging by the kitchen window.

National Day of Sweden & shoelaces

“6 juni”. This used to be Swedish Flag Day. At school, as a teen, we celebrated with parade and flags. I remember once wearing shoelaces in yellow and blue. I don´t think I have celebrated since. Not in Sweden, but as a Swedish expat for sure. That´s what happens when you move abroad. The heritage you always took for granted becomes important.

June 6 was renamed National Day in 1983. Only made a public holiday seven years ago I guess not enough time has passed to establish any traditions. Why not start now? Consider the fact that we actually are able to celebrate – not a sure thing everywhere. Think about generations to come – traditions have to start somewhere! Do it for the children! Involve them.

Who is most likely to celebrate? Swedes abroad? Expats in Sweden? Hemvändare/repats? New Swedes? How will you celebrate?  Any suggestions where to go or what to do?

Jordgubbstårta (strawberry cake) will be part of my new traditional National Day of Sweden. I might go for the shoelace-thing too.

#nationaldayofSweden on twitter

 

Vårkrukor på engelska

På en av veckans Fun with English gjorde barnen sådan här härliga krukor! Temat för lektionen var våren och vi pratade om massa våriga saker: från blommor och fåglar och andra djur till vad vi gillar (och INTE gillar) att göra om våren. Färger, räkneord,  väder och standardfraser blandar vi alltid in. Och så lite sång och musik på det förstås!

inredning krukor English
Krukor på engelska

Sign up for next series of expat seminars open now

“Turn your family adventure into an enriching experience” – series of seminars/workshop for expatriates starting again in May. Sign up is open, e-mail for further details charlotta@globatris.se.

Seminarierserie som även passar dig som återflyttat till Sverige efter en tid utomlands. Se under flikenWorkshops.