Accompanying spouse shock
Category Archives: expatriate
Moms’ expat disco
When I moved to Zurich I had made a few contacts in advance (thank you dear Internet). Nothing that lasted though. I knew I needed to make contact with people, to find friends but also information. On location I called a woman mentioned in a resource for expats-book just to ask where I could find playgrounds. I called my relocation agent and asked where I could find a super market – don’t know why she found that a strange question; how would I know?? I called moms that I had met only once at Gymboree or at the Swedish church. Some of them are still dear friends. I joined playgroups and applied (yes that’s right – applied) for membership in a Swedish one. I spoke to people everywhere; mostly expatriates due to the initial language barrier. I hungered for contacts, new friends, acquaintances. I still think it is a shame that my husband’s company did not provide any of this. A coffee morning was promised but nothing happened. Such an easy thing to do.
I joined the WAC in Uster where I came to spend a lot of my time; not only enrolling kids in the pre school but also on my own with new friends, or at family activities with the growing family. Not to mention working with finances and new arrivals. It’s such a wonderful place if you want to find activities and friends. One relocation agent called us a “lifesaver” for expat women.
Once we had a moms’ disco. I swear. Just us moms who wanted some time on our own but were to tired or too attached to a nursing schedule to be able to make it downtown to a real club late at night. We had a blast. Luckily this was before Vine and Instagram. 😉
We were all home by 10 pm by the way.
Networking for expats – you just have to do it!
Networking is important, especially if you move – abroad or within a country. As an accompanying spouse you need to get new friends, contacts and information. This is not the time to be shy or to procrastinate. On the contrary, a little bit of aggressiveness can be useful – in a nice way.
These days we have the Internet to search for playgroups, women’s clubs and activities. There are online forums to find potential friends and advice. Make contact! Call! Visit! It doesn’t always work out but it might lead to something else. If there is nothing organized try to set something up as soon as you bump in to someone in a similar situation! Coffee morning, museum group, book club or toddler time are good examples!
Books anyone?
Today is an important day to Swedish book lovers. Although the significance is less since the beginning of online shopping, it is still a day to look forward to for many people. Today marks the start of the annual book sale. According to tradition many book stores open early, sometimes even just past midnight. It’s the “Black Friday” of Sweden. This annual sale is important to the book business, and it’s not only going on in book stores but in general in every store that carries books – even online.
If you are learning Swedish you have a chance of picking up a thesaurus or a Swedish vocabulary book. A good idea is to get a Swedish cookbook or children’s books; even if you don’t have kids! They are great for practicing a language.
I think I am going to get my hands on “Snacka snyggt – modern retorik” by Elaine Eksvärd – a book about speaking, or more probably about listening! Bokus
Another book I will take a look at is “Swedish christmas”; in English, 75 kr at Bokus. Recipes, traditions and tips, photos and inspiration – perfect if you are new to Sweden or as a gift to Swedes abroad.
Any recommendations for books to buy?
Repatriation – immigration to passport country
20% of all people immigrating to Sweden during 2012 were repatriates (source SCB Befolkningsstatistik 2012). Repatriation is usually not planned for as much as is expatriation. But returning to a passport country can often be even harder than leaving it. Not expecting it to be difficult – after all you are going home – can be a great cause. Also, the people that stayed behind expect you to fit in immediately and be familiar with everything. This means you might not get the help and understanding you could have had use for. Things change and you have probably changed too.
When I returned to Sweden I had some reentry assistance. I was then told that within a few years of repatriation a majority of the people either expatriate again, divorce or leave the employer that invested in sending them abroad in the first place. What a waste of globally experienced work force! I´m pretty sure that with acknowledgement and adequate support on coming home; as well as when going away; this figure can be lowered.
If you are thinking of returning, or know someone who is, at least find out what to expect. It is good to make an informed decision and easier if you are prepared.
Sunday brunch
What can be more perfect for a lazy Sunday than a brunch?
Having it at a restaurant, and on the spur of the moment inviting good friends to come along makes it even more enjoyable. This was actually the second time I spontaneously invited someone over or to come along in just a few days and it worked well with everyone’s normally busy schedules.
There is usually something for everyone; every taste bud and every age. Fruit salad, burgers and cheddar cheese, hash browns, salmon sandwiches, pancakes with maple syrup, toast, Caesar salad, bagels, cake, virgin Marys, melon, chicken, egg & bacon, vegetables and PB & J sandwiches. It doesn’t end there but you get the hang of it.
We visited the American brunch at Hotell Liseberg Heden, Gothenburg; “Brunch Americain”. Good selection, friendly staff and affordable prices, especially for children. The marshmallows and chocolate sauce was a hit at our table …
Oh, it did mean I had to cancel my scheduled zumba. Sometimes you just can’t have it all.
Happy Saturday!
In Sweden we have “Lördagsgodis”. Literally it means Saturday candy, and to kids it means you can only have candy on Saturdays. At least that’s what parents tell them. After bedtime we raid our secret stash of chocolate bars and cars and liquorice pacifiers. Even on Wednesdays.
Inspiration
The word inspire comes from the Latin word inspirare. It literally means “to blow in”.
I think it is a wonderful way to understand the word,
to truly think of what inspiration means to us;
how important it is.
Think about:
What is inspiration to you?
Where do you find it?
How do you use it?
In Swedish inspire is inspirera, and inspiration is simply inspiration!
Intention vs. perception – when moving abroad
Moving to another part of the world can be exciting! It can also hold some frustration. When you experience a new culture – a good advice is to just take it all in. Try to leave interpretation and judgment behind for a while, until you learn more about the rules, norms and values. It will save you some emotional rides. I know it sounds easier said than done, but from the top of my head I can think of situations where I have felt indignation and later learnt that there was no such intent behind. It was just a matter of cultural difference.
This is not only valid for expatriation but for all encounters with a, to us, new culture.
Food in a tube – not only for space.
Yesterday I had a conversation on twitter about caviar. Not the expensive one, but the Swedish breakfast spread that comes in a tube. Yes, you heard me; we eat it for breakfast, and yes it is tube-food. This means all the colorful tubes in the grocery store are not necessarily toothpaste but food. There is also soft cheese on tubes.
The caviar looks like a cream somewhere on the color scheme between pink and salmon. It is salty. It goes well with boiled eggs. Either you slice the egg and have a caviar and egg sandwich, or you simply put some caviar on your egg and eat with a spoon. Cold potatoes are also a perfect match for caviar as is in my opinion chives.
Swedish people that relocate abroad often miss the caviar (find out what else they miss here). There are probably not many shops around the world selling Scandinavian food that don’t carry the product. In the Us I could buy the Swedish version in a tube at a Russian supermarket (there was no IKEA at a decent distance).
A non-Swedish friend of mine told me of the first time she experienced caviar. It was on a visit to Sweden. We all know how lovely a hotel breakfast can be, and this proved to be no different – there was a lovely pinkish spread that to my friend couldn’t be anything but strawberry flavored. It wasn’t. Imagine her surprise, and may I say shock, when it was all salt and not sweet at all.
But there has been some flirting with sweet flavors from one of the producer´s. In 2007 banana caviar was introduced, and this was mentioned in my twitter feed yesterday. I had fully forgotten about this. Deliberately, I suppose. Though I must admit, I haven´t tried it.
